Next Friday is my first counseling session (not ever). I've been to this counselor before and I told her about my eating problems, but we mostly focused on my school work and stress from that. This time around, I plan on focusing on my eating disorder. So the coundown begins! Ten days!
Today I tried really really hard to not over eat and to eat pretty healthy, and I succeeded! For breakfast I had an eggwhite sandwich (wheat bread, spinach, and shredded cheese in it), for lunch I had vegetable lo mein, green beans, and two dumplings. For dinner I had some salmon and a bit of rice and beans, but I wasn't a huge fan of the rice and beans. I had little snacks in between. I never felt full, but I never really felt empty either. I drank only water throughout the day as well, which helped me feel fuller so I didn't eat any more than I should have. There were certain foods that were just begging me to eat them, but I stopped myself, and it felt great!
So today overall was a good day. My only fear is that I won't be able to keep this up. I'm afraid that I'm going to give in to the food and eat too much. Will I throw it up after knowing what I do now? I'm not sure. I found otu that by throwing up your food, you start to gain weight, which is my biggest fear. I don't want that all, I want to lose weight. Thirty pounds worth of weight. And if I can't do it by throwing up, then how else can I do it? Of course I know the other options, but they're not good enough. I need to lose it fast, I want to lose it fast. My current plan is to eat healthy and slowly increase the intensity of my workouts. Maybe it will work?