Sunday, April 10, 2011

Regret?

Dear Readers,

I told my roommates last night that I have an eating disorder. They weren't surprised, they could tell that something was majorly wrong. Of course I was drunk at the time too, so that didnt' really make things that fantastic, and it's probably the only reason that I actually told them about it. But I told them. Before, I was debating whether or not to tell them because I haven't known them for a long time. I don't trust them just yet, maybe I'll never get that close to them. So I wasn't planning on telling them. But when I'm drunk, I'm all talk with no filter. But waking up this morning, with my hangover and all, I didn't regret telling them. Not yet at least.

What I found strange from our conversation is that when I told them I'm afraid to tell my parents, they basically said that I shouldn't and don't have to. I figured they would say yes, you should just talk to them and let them help you, but they didn't say that at all. They said that if I'm getting help and I'm getting help for myself, then there's no need to tell them at all. It made me realize that I feel bad for keeping such a secret from my family and that maybe I should tell them. I still have that fear of upsetting them though, that's what's holding me back. I still have some time to decide though.

Five more days until I see the counselor. My roommates were happy to hear that I'm going to get help, which was nice. They were very nice and supportive and they understand. We'll soon see if I regret telling them my secret. Let's hope I don't though!

Sincerely,

its_only_life

No comments:

Post a Comment